Thanksgiving at the Fowlers

More coming soon! I'm behind on life right now, what with house-hunting and job-hunting and grading. For now, see my sister Anna's report on our fun weekend together.

Talking & Toddling

I went away for 5 days to the conference of the Association of Personal Historians, and came back to find David saying more and more words! They aren’t pronounced very clearly, but he says “door,” “cracker” (“crak”), “avocado” (“cado”), “car”, “squirrel” (“squ”), “bird”, “hole”, “broom” (he loves to hold the broom!! hope that holds into his teenage years!), “hot dog” (“dah”), “book”, “ball”, “more”, “banana”, and “no” – though he says the latter when he means “yes” sometimes!!

Nose!

I had read that most babies have about 6-12 words before they hit 18 months, and then they have an explosion of language, producing up to 10 new words a day! He seems ahead of the chart, if you ask us, since he seems to already have at least 20 words (Taylor says closer to 30!). Perhaps because his vocabulary is increasing, he’s also more attentive now as we read to him – which makes reading that much more fun with him!

We have several cut Sandra Boyton books, including "Hey Good Morning!" It has these lines: "'Morning snack is here for you: Milk and cookies and broccoli stew.' 'Ew!' 'For the bunny, not for you.' 'Oh Phew!'" David's taken to saying the "Ew!" as soon as he hears "stew". And he tries to say "phew", though it comes out as "poo". Makes us laugh and laugh!

Why I Voted Yes on Prop 8

I've been MEANING to blog on why I voted for Prop 8; I haven't had time! It was not simply because of the Church's position on marriage and because the prophets issued the Proclamation of the Family in 1999, amazingly timely for how big the issue has become in the past 4-6 years. I do believe they foresaw the controversies in the political arena.

However, the issue is one I still had to stop and think about. At school, on our last MLK Jr Day assembly, 10 minutes were devoted to gay rights, making it the next civil rights issue. I know a lot of people see it that way now: two of my students wrote impassioned "Courage Papers" (an assignment to write a letter to a person/organization on an issue you felt strongly about) supporting gay marriage. A close Mormon friend from high school and I exchanged several emails discussing the pros and cons to the issue.

But over the past several weeks my opinion has solidified. I do not oppose gay marriage because the Bible condemns it. The Bible condones a lot of horrid things; the Bible is wonderfully inspired in places and terribly flawed in others. But the Restored Gospel teaches us of a Heavenly Father AND Heavenly Mother, who together form God (whom we call God the Father). We do have the potential to become as They are, and that requires male and female working together. For that reason, and not because the Bible condemns homosexuality, I believe that it is wrong, that it leads us away from our highest potential. I believe that marriage is should encourage this potential.

I do not doubt that some people are born with homosexual tendencies. In our society, any natural physical tendency is indulged. I do not believe that merely having a tendency -- even one as basic as sexual drive -- is reason enough to succumb to it. Mormons believe in celibacy for heterosexuals who don't marry, too. I will not mess with what happens in the bedroom. But marriage is not about sex. Sex is the consensual union of two adults. Marriage is more than that, and I do feel that society is within its bounds to define it beyond the definition of sex.

Marriage is more than just a life-long commitment to another person. Marriage is also a built-in system of support for children. I know not all couples (gay or straight) will have kids, want kids. And I know that two kind and good homosexuals will not make horrible parents. But they will not give their children (adopted or Artificial Reproductive Technology) the benefit of mother AND father. I think every child deserves that. Men and women ARE different, and both halves are important in a child's development. Taylor meets needs of David that I don't do very well, and vice versa. A well-written argument along these lines by a liberal Democrat appears here.

Already there is the misconception that everyone who opposes homosexual behavior or gay marriage is bigoted and homophobic. This is not fair. Religions have the right, I believe, to lay down guidelines and prohibitions on behavior, especially sexual behavior. I fear that their preachings will be further condemned and silenced -- the way they are are being -- if gay marriage is legalized. I feel silenced on this issue, afraid of being labeled a homophobe. I don't want gays to be silenced, but neither do I want those who oppose gay marriage to be silenced, either. Already LDS-Family Services cannot, in the state of CA, ally itself with other adoption umbrella agencies as it has done in other states, because of LDS-FS's decision not to adopt to homosexual couples. I think that is unfair to condemn the agency because of decisions based on religious belief.

Finally, we humans make a lot of our decisions based on the examples we see. I do want my children to not feel that they need to overly question their own sexuality. Maya Angelou went out and got pregnant at 16 because she read a book about lesbians and worried she might be one. So she seduced a neighbor boy to ensure that she wasn't lesbian.

Whether or not Prop 8 passes, however, those who oppose gay marriage will increasingly be in the minority. I will have to teach David and our other children of my beliefs in the nature of God, and how that informs my beliefs about marriage, but that position will be more and more the minority, and even more and more condemned as homophobic. Still, I do NOT agree with some conservatives that gays are ATTACKING the institution of marriage so much as I believe that celebs and the media are. Marriage is glamorized but not supported.

My logic may not be flawless. Still, I needed to express my views, since I do feel very silenced on this issue in this liberal community (and I wouldn't feel comfortable with the logic of a lot of conservatives, either!).

Halloween with the Fowlers

I spent Halloween weekend with my sister Anna and her family in Provo, Utah. I had decided months ago to attend the annual conference for the Association of Personal Historians, hoping to be inspired about ways to again jump-start my work as a personal historian (it did this!).

The best part was having time, however, was time with family. Anna and I talked for quite some time on my first night with them (Thursday), and Friday night they carved pumpkins (I tried, but I'm really not a good carver) and then we went trick-or-treating.










Anna and the boys made robot costumes for the entire family. I think they had all dressed up earlier; for the actual trick-or-treating I wore Anna's costume! Fun!

It was also great to see Bobby and his friend Nikki (sp??). They were dressed up at Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Thanks, Anna, for sending me their photos!

Thankfully their costumes are better than "a bible's width between you
while dancing!" -- the rule I remember from Stake Dances!

The next-door neighbors had some fancy jack-0'-lanterns. But my favorite of their batch was their simplest: the "pumpkin pi" on the left.